If only
by BerryBerryBlitz
Summary: We all know Aichi Sendou was bullied a lot when he was little. It was so bad that he had to switch schools. The thing that gave him courage was blaster blade, a card given to him by his idol Toshiki Kai.BUT. What if Aichi never met Kai? What if he never had blaster blade to give him emotional support? How would this affect how Aichi grew up? OLD STORY
1. Prologue

**Caution, story contains blood, sadness, depression**

**Prologue **

"Sendou Aichi, have you ever wondered what your life would have been like if you never met Kai Toshiki?"

I felt a voice full of coldness whisper into my ear, I looked around with unease as I tried to locate where the voice had come from. I could see nothing but the stars all around me.

"Who are you?"

I asked as I began to feel fear start to grip hold on me, I didn't know where I was. The last thing I remembered was playing at card capital with all of my precious and dear friends.

"I am everything, yet I am nothing Sendou Aichi"

"I don't understand.. Why am I here?"

_I don't like this place... _

_It gives me a bad feeling.._

"Hehe silly Sendou, I can read your thoughts. I've also already told you why you're here_"_

I felt the ground Beneath me waver, I fell down surprised and looked at the ground. It was transparent yet I could see my reflection. However it wasn't the reflection of the current me, it was the reflection of the past me, who was weak and bullied all the time, the me who was afraid of others the me who always ran away.

I placed my hand to the ground and the past me did the same, we touched our palms together. If felt somewhat soothing seeing my old self, it made me think how much I've changed for the better.

"So Sendou Aichi, do you wonder what would have happened if you never met Kai Toshiki that day all those many years ago?"

The dark voice made my head whip up in attention, I started to have the feeling that something terrible was about to happen to me. I also knew that there was nothing I could currently do against this unknown enemy.

_At least I'm the only one who is currently in danger to this unknown being.._

I felt slightly relieved, if my friends were with me right now I would end up being afraid for them as well as myself. I sighed and looked at my younger reflection, I could tell whatever was planned for me probably had something to do with it.

_Wait.. what that voice has been asking and my younger reflection_..

" you've guessed right Sendou Aichi, you're going to go back, back to where everything began for you except this time, you won't meet Kai Toshiki"

I gasped, my reflection suddenly grabbed my arm and began to pull me into the floor. I wasn't strong enough to resist, I felt a flash of emptiness enter my mind as my reflection swapped places with me, I looked up and saw the current me looking down at me, I looked at my hands and they were smaller, I was a five year old again. I felt pain in my mind and I lost consciousness, all memories of after I met Kai-kun were erased and I was left as my five year old self and sent into the past where I was destined to not meet Kai-Kun that day to receive the blaster blade that started it all.

**prologues aren't meant to be long..**


	2. Chapter 1: The start

**Hehe~**

**Chapter 1 : The start**

I could feel something shaking me, I rolled over, not wanting to get up. I knew what the day had in store for me, nothing but pain and hurt.

"Aichi Get up"

I groaned and buried myself deeper under the covers.

"Aichi!"

The shaking got worse, I sighed and allowed the blanket filled with warmth to be removed from me. I opened my eyes sleepily to see my mother she has cyan hair and blue eyes, she was holding my baby sister Emi in her arms. I thought she was adorable with her peach hair and blue eyes.

"Mom do I have to go to school... I really don't want to..."

I begged my mom to let me stay home I didn't want to be beat on again. My mom shook her head and smiled sadly at me.

"I'm afraid not Aichi.. Miyaji is a good school.. It's just some people that Arn't that nice, I want you to get a good education..."

_Mom... I'm so scared...I don't want to go..._

I smiled sadly and nodded, my mom left my room to allow me to change for school. I hated school with a passion, it wasn't the teachers or the work that I hated. It was my classmates, they were always picking on me and hurting me. Sometimes when they gang up on me, I fear for my life.

_I don't know what I did to make everyone hate me, I was never mean. _

_But still, they make sure I'm miserable._

I reluctantly walked down the stairs and got my shoes on.

"Aichi? Don't you want breakfast?"

My mother called from the kitchen. I knew I should eat but when I thought about school, my appetite always vanishes.

"No thanks mom... I'm not very hungry..."

I opened the front door and stepped out into the pristine fresh air. The sunlight on my face would have made me feel happy if my thoughts weren't overshadowed by fear.

_I just want to go back in my bed and sleep the day away.._

I began the familiar and terrible walk to school, I had to keep checking behind me to make sure I was okay.

_You never know when someone will attack me_..

I shivered at the change of temperature due to the sudden breeze, I pulled my coat closer to me in an attempt to stay warm. Sure the sun was warm and all, it's just that I prefer to not have sudden chills.

I began to see Miyaji in the distance, I slowed my pace, trying to delay my arrival as long as I could. I felt a hand grab my shoulder, I froze and looked behind me and saw Miroku Mizuha, he was slightly taller and stronger than me, he had spiky beige hair and hazel eyes. I didn't like him, he was always hitting me with stuff and keeps getting more painful items over time.

"Hey Sendou! Why don't you hang out with me before class starts?"

He smiled kindly, however on the inside I could imagine him with a cruel grin. I stepped away from him.

"N-no thanks Mizuha... I'm in a hurry!"

I turned and began running towards school, hoping to see a teacher. A teacher meant safety. I felt the ground rush towards myme as Mizuha tripped me, I ended up getting covered in scrapes. My eyes watered from the pain, he just pointed and laughed at me.

"Sendou is such a klutzy person! And a big wimp!"

Mizuha laughed and pointed at me as I scrambled to get up and ran to school.

_Today seems like another bad day.. And it's only just barely started.._

I winced as I looked at my new scrapes , a bit of blood has already started to come out. Most kids my age would cry and ask for a bandaid but I was different.

I was used to the sight of blood, I sighed sadly as I entered my classroom.

_Please just let today end quickly.._

I put my head on my desk and waited for the class to full up and begin.

The bell rang and my teacher Mr. Sora started to take the class attendance, when my name was called, I stood up nervously.

"H-hai"

I answered then sat back down embarrassed, I could my classmates snicker. I knew they were making fun of me, it made me feel so lonely knowing that nobody want to be my friend. I didn't notice the red head who was looking at me from the corner of his eye. I sighed sadly and began to listen to Mr. Sora's lesson, it was simple and easy enough. I was called on a few times to answer questions, I always stuttered earning me even more snickering but I always got the question right.

I studied at home often, knowing that if I get a question wrong when Mr. Sora called on me. I would be bullied more harshly than usual that day.

_It's not fair... When someone else gets a question wrong.._

_Nobody hurts them.._

_But for me.._

I shivered at the memory of the last time I answered a question wrong, Mizuha and his friends had surrounded me on the way home and began hitting me with sticks.

**poor Aichi..**


	3. Chapter 2: School

_**... My old story's chapters are so short..**_

_**Chapter 2 : School**_

_I_ _will not allow myself to get wrong answers, I don't want to worry my mom anymore than she already is._

Lunch break came but I didn't leave my seat, I always stayed in the classroom where my teacher was. People weren't allowed food in class so I never ate lunch at school. I used to until people began to make up a game where they stole my food, is chase them for it. Then I would get it shoved in my face, and get called a filthy pig.

I looked longingly and sadly at my lunchbox, knowing that I will have to guiltily dump it into a trash can before I went home.

I loved my mom's cooking, she always made it for me so lovingly so it hurt whenever I had to lie when she asked me if I liked my lunch. I'd always smile happily and tell her I loved it, I probably would have loved it if I actually ate it.

It just added to all the guilt that I felt piling up on top of me, I always lied about my injuries and pass it off as clumsiness, and I always do my best to look like I'm happy around my mom. Knowing that she would be upset if she knew I was unhappy.

I heard the bell that signalled the end of lunch break, I sighed and put away my lunchbox and watched the class fill up once again.

I had successfully got through another lunch without being picked on. It made me feel a little uneasy at the thought that I actually thought like that.

_Kids shouldn't have to worry about it being safe to eat.. They should be able to happily enjoy lunch with friends.._

_Well normally if they weren't me_

I sighed as I felt hunger grip my stomach, regretting not eating breakfast and knowing I'll have to wait until supper to eat.

The rest of the school day went by in a blur, it seemed like it was to fast. I dreaded the walk home, I knew I would probably end up getting hurt again and have to lie to my mom about my injuries like usual.

I packed my bag quickly and ran out of the school, eager to reach home before I got surrounded my Mizuha and his friends.

I sighed with relief when I got past the usual point where I was usually attacked. I allowed myself to relax slightly as I walked home. I heard loud babbling, I looked over to see a yellow haired boy and a brown haired boy walking by in a heated discussion about something.

_I wish I would be able to do that one day too..._

_I highly doubt it though.._

_As long as I'm still me, I'll never earn friends.._

I hurriedly walked by them, not wanting to catch attention. Being the friendless person that I was and all. I would probably just end up getting beaten and have more People to routinely bully me.

I walked the rest of the way home without any problems, when my mother saw me she ran to me and went on her knees.

"Aichi! Where did these scrapes come from?!"

My mom right away began to patch up my scrapes.

_You're always so kind mom_

"Hehe I was clumsy and fell, sorry for worrying you"

My mom took a look at me and frowned, she looked really worried.

"Aichi.. Please be careful, you're my important little baby boy"

She hugged me, I love her hugs, they always manage to make me feel safe.

**hope ya enjoyed~**


	4. Chapter 3: Nightmare

**Hehe poor Aichi so sad lately~**

**Chapter 3 : Nightmare**

After my mom stopped fussing over me, I hurried up the stairs to my room. I wanted to get my homework finished quickly so I could go to bed, I looked at the clock on my dresser, it read 3:35 PM. I knew that it was too early to fall asleep but I just wanted the day to end.

_I wonder what will happen tomorrow?... More teasing and bullying probably_..

I sighed as I placed my bag on the floor and took out my homework, it was a few math problems that were relatively simple to solve. I hopped into my desk and grabbed a pencil and eraser from my pencil case. I propped open my notebook and began solving the questions that were too easy.

I sighed when I finished my work, it had only taken me around ten minuets to complete. I heard my stomach rumble, reminding me that I hadn't eaten all day. I knew I was physically hungry, the problem was that I didn't have an appetite.

_I'm going to have to force myself to eat something... I don't want to though.._

_Whenever I eat I remember when my classmates teased me with my food.. I wish I could just forget.. Everything._

I decided to go down stairs to check on what my mom was making for supper, when I did I smelt curry. The smell somewhat made my mouth water, I just loved my mom's homemade curry.

I noticed the knife my mom had used to cut the onions for the curry, it seemed to draw me in.

_My life consists of being afraid of others and barely eating.. It's not much_..

I shook my head right away after that thought, I couldn't believe I had thought that.

_If I leave, my mom will become upset.. She's always so kind to me, I don't want to make her cry_.

I left the kitchen and the knife and went to the living room to find my mom, she was cradling Emi in her arms kindly.

"Oh hi Aichi? Did you do your homework?"

She asked as she smiled at me, I nodded and sat beside her.

"Hehe you're one of the few kids in the world who does their homework without a parent asking them to"

I smiled half heartedly at my mom's compliment, it made me happy yet sad.

_That's because other kids have friends to play with. They don't have time for it, but I have no friends so of course I'd do it_.._well at least I know I'm not causing you trouble_.

We heard the stove beep signalling that supper was ready, my mom gave me Emi to hold as she went to the kitchen. I looked down at my baby sister and smiled.

_I hope you have a better life than your hopeless big bro, I want you to have lots of friends_.

My sister seemed so innocent, I loved her so much even though I wasn't able to have a conversation with her. It felt strange loving a person you didn't know personally but that was exactly how I thought.

I rocked Emi back and fourth slowly in my arms, then placed Emi in her crib. She was big enough that my arms got tired after holding her for a while, I didn't want to risk dropping her.

"Aichi dinners finished!"

My mom called from the kitchen, I put a blanket over Emi.

"Kay!"

I hurried towards the kitchen table, hoping that I had a bit if an appetite, if I didn't eat much it would make my mom worry.

_I already make her worry about me enough, I don't need her worrying about my health also._

I somehow managed to eat all of the food on my plate, I placed it in the sink then went upstairs back to my room. I hopped into my bed for the night, hoping to sleep away the time.

_I wish I could spend my whole life sleeping, it's more easy than living my life afraid._

I closed my eyes and allowed sleep to overtake me, I had become accustomed to being able to choose when I fall asleep.

In my dream I dreamt that I had woken up and gone to school, I was confused that I hadn't dreamed that night so I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. I froze when I felt a eerily cold hand grip my shoulder, I turned around and saw Mizuha and his friends, their eyes were glowing red. I backed away from them but tripped, I went to get up but my left leg wouldn't move. I looked down and saw that I chan had appeared and was chaining my leg to the ground.

Mizuha and his friends began to surround me, they were all laughing and taunting.

'Sendou the clutz!' ' Sendou the loser'

'Sendou the useless freak' 'weirdo, idiot, useless' 'Sendou should just disappear'

They all chanted around me, I covered my ears and crouched on the ground.

"No.. I'm not! Just leave me alone!"

I cried, Mizuha pushed me over and stood on my chest.

"Sendou you're already alone, nobody cares for you"

"No you're lying.. I have my mom.."

The scenery suddenly changed from the sidewalk to a dark room with a light at the centre where I stood. Shadows of everyone were pointing and laughing at me, they began to somehow throws stones at me. I cried out in pain as the stones made contact with my body.

_What did I ever do to deserve this!_

One of the shadows came close to me and whispered into my ear.

"Your sin is life Sendou, you're not needed"

I saw blood flow out of me from where the stones hit me, I began to panic at the sight.

_No! I don't want to die!_

_I want to live!_

"Sendou you're lying to yourself, just give in and accept it"

_No! Get out of my head! Please... Just leave... Me.. Alone..._

_Just like always..._

I woke abruptly, I was panting hard. I looked over at the clock and it read 5:06AM I could feel wetness on my face, I wiped it away with my hands noticing it was just my teardrops.


	5. Chapter 4 : For my family

**Chapter 4 : for my family**

It was too late to go back to sleep, I knew that I wouldn't be able to anyway even if I wanted to. I trembled underneath the covers as I forced my breathing to even out. It was times like these that I wished I had no emotion, I would be able to feel fear, I wouldn't be ably to feel the sadness that overwhelms me and most of all, I wouldn't be lonely.

I turned off the alarm on my clock, knowing that it would just be troublesome.

I wanted to go curl up in my mom's warm arms, I wanted to feel safe with her. I knew however if I did, my mom would wonder why and I would cause her to worry. In the end, I just laid in my bed until my mom entered my room to wake me up. I looked over at her as she entered and she had a surprised look on her face.

"Aichi, it's odd to see you awake, did you have a good nights sleep?"

She asked as she sat in the bed beside where I was laying and began to stroke my blue hair soothingly.

"Yeah mom, I had the most perfect sleep, I had a wonderful dream"

I forced myself to smile and look happy, my mom's cyan eyes lit up happily.

"What did you dream about?"

_I'm sorry for lying... I don't want you to worry about me mom._

"I dreamt that I had friends and people really liked me"

My mom clasped her hands together happily at my lie, I knew my mom had been worried about my social life so I wanted her to feel less concerned.

"Oh Aichi that's wonderful! I hope your dream you had comes true!"

I hugged my mom and looked at her happily.

"... I do too mom..."

This resulted in my mom ruffling my hair playfully then getting up.

"Aichi what do you want for breakfast?"

_I'm not hungry..._

"Ah just some toast please!"

My mom frowned at my response and sighed.

"Toast only? Well I guess it's better than nothing"

She smiled at me kindly then went to go make my toast. When she left I got dressed for school, I wasn't looking forward to it but I knew I had to go. When I had finished changing I left my room and went downstairs to the kitchen. I was greeted with buttered toast and orange juice on the table.

"Thanks mom!"

I had to force my voice to sound energetic, it hurt but I wanted my mom to be oblivious to my unhappiness. I sat down and took a few bites of my toast, my mom had left to go check on Emi. I took the opportunity to toss the toast into the garbage and I downed my orange juice. I looked at the knife rack, and jumped when my mom entered the kitchen once again but with Emi in her arms.

"Oh Aichi you're finished eating already? That was fast!"

My mom smiled, probably because she thinks I actually are a full breakfast in who knows how long. I felt slightly guilty but it was better than making my mom worry.

"I was hungry! But I'm full now!"

I went to go towards the stairs to go back to my room but my mom stopped me and smiled.

"Aichi, you should start heading to school, it never hurts to be early"

I cringed on the inside at my mom's suggestion. On the outside however, I smiled and nodded.

"Okay mom! I'll go to school now!"

I grabbed my shoes, put them on and went out the door in a hurry. I wanted to look like I was looking forward to school, when I was out the door I sighed sadly and began the long walk to hell.

_Going early means more time to be beat on._

I looked over at the road and remembered that not long ago, a kid around my age got hit by a car and died. I looked at the road, tempted to copy the act but I stopped myself.

_My mom would be heartbroken... I don't want to leave her and Emi alone like that.._

I removed my gaze from the road and continued on my way to school. Knowing that the only reason a useless person like me was still around was because I couldn't just leave my caring family.

I saw Mizuha who was a little bit in front of me, I instantly hid behind a lamp post. I peeked from behind it, Mizuha was laughing happily with his friends, I frowned at the sight.

_How can someone so mean have so many friends?..._

_It's just not fair... I do my best to be kind but I end up alone. Yet he does his best to cause problems and has many friends... Should I be like him? Except I don't harm others?... I don't know..._

_**aww poor Aichi...**_


	6. Chapter 5 : Why am I so calm!

**The story goes darker..**

**Chapter 5 : Why am I so calm?**

I sighed when Mizuha and his friends were out of my sight, I was glad that they couldn't sneak up behind me.

_For once I'm the one behind them, maybe I should leave for school early more often. They don't expect me to be out yet and they never have their bags with them when they pick on me.. _

_That must mean they drop them off at school than attack me_.

I continued my way to school behind my worst enemy, I disliked Mizuha and I had every right to after what he had done to me. I shivered when I remembered my dream last night.

_I guess I'll be seeing him in my dreams now as well as when I'm awake.. Can't I just have a safe place? Is it just too much to ask for?_

I turned the corner on the street that I was on and froze, my blood ran cold. Mizuha I had bumped into Mizuha and his friends.

_Shouldn't they be farther ahead?!_

"Hey watch where you're going shrimp!"

Mizuha called, it seemed he didn't recognize me at first so I nodded and ran past him. I felt a tug on my backpack and I fell backwards, hitting my head on the hard cold cement.

"Haha Sendou! Did you really think we didn't recognize a blue haired shrimp like you?"

I could feel something wet trailing down the side of my head, I timidly place my hand at its source and looked at it, my eyes went wide at the crimson liquid on my fingers.

_Blood?... I just fell didn't I? _

I looked over at Mizuha and his friends, wondering what they were going to do to me next_. _They looked at me with wide eyes, their faces were pale like they had seen a ghost_._

_What's wrong? You've made me bleed before, what's so different about this time?_

_"_I-I'm sorry Sendou.. I'll go get help just stay there!"

I didn't understand why Mizuha and his friends were freaking out, when they left I looked at the ground and saw there was a lot of blood.

_Hey.. That's not good.. It's more than usual_..

I had no idea why I felt so calm, I felt so peaceful as if I was in a trance. I put up my hood which was luckily red and carried on my way to school, I didn't want Mizuha and his friends to help me, not after all the pain they've caused me. I realized that I would get weird looks if my hands were bloody, I looked around for something to wipe them on but could find nothing.

I grimaced and left the blood, I knew that I could probably wait and rinse off in the river near the school. I then noticed that I could no longer feel the warm news of fresh blood dripping down the side of my head, I shrugged it off. I had heard that head injuries even if they are small tent to bleed a lot at first, I smiled at the thought that I had scared Mizuha.

Maybe I was lucky, I barely got beat in before school, I noticed the river and ran to it. I happily washed away the dried blood in my hands then washed away the mat of dried blood on my head. I frowned when I noticed that bits of my hair remained purple.

_Great, how do I explain this? Maybe I could tell my mom I had a fight with a purple marker..._

_Didn't Mizuha say he was going to get help? What if my mom finds out? I don't want to worry her.._

_I'll just lie and smile, my mom cares for me enough to believe me._

I smiled at my idea, I looked at my watch and noticed that school was going to start soon, it surprised me how time went by so fast. I picked up my bag and began running to school, I was lucky that nobody picked on me again before I reached the safe haven of the classroom.

I saw that Mizuha and Mr. Sora look at me strangely when I arrived, I just smiled like everything was okay. I heard Mr. Sora scold Mizuha on something about lying, I had to stop myself from laughing or smirking at this. The look on Mizuha's face was hilarious, he had tears in his eyes, he turned towards me and glared. It didn't intimidate me like usual because of his tears.

_Maybe this day won't be that bad after all, it seems Mizuha is afraid of large anoints of blood... If I utilize this knowledge, maybe I can find away to permanently ward him off._

_Maybe I just need to be bleeding a lot for Mizuha to leave me alone, maybe I'll test this tomorrow._

Class went by in a breeze, I didn't risk eating my lunch today. It was just in case Mizuha had recovered from the sight of blood, I was going to test my theory tomorrow and if it did work, I was going to eat lunch in class for the first time in who knows how long. I couldn't stop myself from trembling in excitement.

_I may end up getting rid of my bully problem!_

When school ended I ran home quickly_,_ I had absolutely no problems getting home. Which was probably due to the incident this morning_._

"I'm home!"

I called as I opened the front door and walked in, my mom ran up to me and picked me up in a tight hug.

"Aichi.. You're in such a good mood! Did anything good happen?"

I shook my head and smiled happily at her.

"No mom, just the usual day at school"

My mom kissed me on the head then put me down, her eyebrow raised when she saw the patch of purple hair.

"Aichi why is some of your hair purple?"

I forced myself to laugh, I needed to make it look like I wa ms telling the truth.

"I got into a fight with a red marker"

My mom looked at me funny, I smiled trying to look embarrassed and my mom laughed.

"Oh Aich, that's so silly, please be more cautious next time"

I nodded then went to go have a shower, I looked into the bathroom window and lifted up my blue bang that was always sticking out. I frowned at the thin line with dried blood.

_I'm lucky it was there instead of in an more visible place, if my mom saw this she'd cry_.

I sighed then went into the steamy shower, I washed all the blood off of me then sat in the steaming room and thought.

_Why was I so calm today? When I saw the blood I felt peaceful.._

I looked over at a razor that was on the tub's side, I picked it up and examined it_. _I looked at my right arm_, _it was already covered in scratches from being bullied so it wouldn't be as noticeable_._

_I want to confirm something.._

I gently pressed the blade against my skin, I made sure to avoid big veins because I didn't want to die and leave my family_._

I winced when the blade broke skin and blood began to flow out of my arm, I watched it mingle with the water before it went down the drain_._ I felt calmness wash over me, I placed the blade back on the tub after rinsing it and sighed_._

_Why does blood calm me so easily? It makes others look in fear.._

_**aichi... Well anyway hope ya enjoyed~**_


	7. Chapter 6 : small bit of happiness

**Chapter 6 : Small bit of happiness**

I sighed as I got out of the shower, I wanted to stay in longer but the steam had begun to make me feel slightly woozy. I dried myself off and put on my clothes, I was lucky that I had been wearing a long sleeve shirt to cover all the scrapes I had gotten from 'tripping'. Also the single cut I had gave myself in the shower.

When I walked out if the bathroom my mom walked up to me and smiled.

"Silly Aichi, you never can dry your hair properly"

She grabbed the towel I had placed on my head and had begun drying my hair. I actually already knew how to dry my hair perfectly, I just wanted my mom to do it for me. My mom was always so kind and gentle.

"So Aichi, how hungry are you?"

I thought for a bit, I was actually starving for once. I took that as a good sign. I smiled happily at my mom, for once I was actually happy.

"I'm really really hungry!"

My mom's eyes lit up instantly and she hugged me tightly, it felt warm and kind but she was hugging too tightly.

"Mom.. I can't breathe..."

She instantly let go of me and ruffled my hair.

"Sorry, I was just so happy, it's been so long since you've been really hungry"

I couldn't help but smile at my mom's reaction.

_Hehe usually it's a bad thing when a kids really hungry_.

My mom left me to go start preparing dinner, it made me happy that she seemed extra energetic in cooking today. I went to go and check on Emi, when I peeked into her crib I smiled. Emi was sleeping peacefully, I touched her cheek and was surprised when she wrapped her hands around my fingers.

"I love you Emi"

I whispered before kissing her on the head then putting her blanket she had knocked away back on her. I was afraid that when she got older that she would be treated how I was, I could just tell that Emi was going to grow up into a kind person.

_Emi I'll protect you the best I can if that ever happens_.

I almost made myself laugh at my thoughts, I couldn't even take care of my own problem. There was no way I could properly protect Emi.

_I'll still try though_.

My mom called me for dinner I quickly shovelled the food into my mouth, earning some laughter from my mom. It felt nice to be happily eating with her after so long. Afterwards I happily went to bed, I was thankful that my last dream didn't repeat itself, instead I was blessed with a calm dreamless sleep.

I woke up early and got dressed, I grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer and some bandages.

_I'm going to see if I can make Mizuha fear me without me harming him._

I wrapped the knife in the bandages carefully and slipped it into my pocket. I didn't want it to accidental cut me when I sat so I had made sure the knife was securely wrapped.

"Aichi! Breakfast!"

I froze when my mom popped her head into my door, I felt so lucky that I had already pocketed the knife.

_My mom would have thrown a fit if she saw me with it_..

I smiled at my mom and followed her to the kitchen table.

"Thanks mom, but I'll have toast I want to get to school early today"

My mom frowned slightly then smiled, I could tell she wanted me to eat a lot like last night but I really had to 'get to school early'. I walked out the door and shielded my eyes from the harsh yet kind sunlight.

_Today's going to be interesting.._


	8. Chapter 7 : who's the victim now?

**...Aichi...**

**Chapter 7 : Who's the victim now?**

I hurried away from home, for once I was eager to meet up with Mizuha and his friends. I just couldn't wait to give him my little surprise.

_If this works, I won't have to deal with Mizuha's constant bullying and I'll finally be able to walk outside without fear_.

I stopped running after I was a decent distance from my house, I knew that Mizuha was probably waiting to ambush me again, assuming he wasn't still spooked about what happened last time.

I couldn't stop a smile from spreading across my face, I felt the stashed away knife in my pocket. It's presence made me feel safe and more brave than usual.

_Why didn't I think of this before? It could have saved me a lot of trouble and pain._

I felt an all to familiar hand touch my shoulder, I stopped walking. I wasn't afraid, instead I was eager. I turned around to face Mizuha and his friends, they were grinning evilly.

"Hay Mizuha!"

I smiled as I greeted the meanest bully in the school, he glared at me then pushed me into a wall.

"Sendou... You seem to be a little cheeky now are we? I think we're going to have to fix that problem"

I wasn't intimidated by his threat, I had let myself be thrown into the wall, I slipped the knife out of my pocket successfully without him or his friends noticing. I smiled at Mizuha happily.

"Why you little!"

He went to hit me but I moved my head out if the way, he yelped in pain when his hand struck bricks.

"Hehe Mizuha seems like you've lost your touch"

I teased, I wanted to get him angry, I wanted him to try to hurt me.

_When you do, you'll end up with a huge scare hehe_.

One of Mizuha's friends pushed me to the ground, I cried out in false pain, I made sure that it was loud and painful. They froze, I had secretly slashed my arm and I was now bleeding a lot. An adult came rushing over and saw me on the ground covered in blood, he looked at Mizuha and his friends and got them in serious trouble. I smirked at them when the adult wasn't looking.

_Easy, now if I continue to do this, they'll stop bullying me altogether. All I've got to do is be patient and wait for time to pass._

After Mizuha and his friends had been scared away the adult bent down to me and helped me up, he had green hair and wore glasses.

"You okay? Don't be scared, I'm here to help. You can call me Nitta"

He smiled kindly at me, I allowed him to help me up. I wanted to leave right away for school but he had insisted that he bandage me up.

"So what's your name?"

Nitta asked as he was finishing up the bandages, I winced at the slight tightness of them but was thankful for his kindness.

"My name is Aichi Sendou, thank you for helping me"

Nitta smiled at me then ruffled my hair, it felt strange when someone besides my mom did it.

"Uncle! I'm heading out for school!"

A lavender haired girl with blue eyes called out as she ran out the door.

"See ya Misaki! I hope you have fun!"

Nitta called as she left the door.

_Wonder it her parents are working._

"I think I should also head to school, thank you for your time Nitta_!"_

I said as I rubbed my newly bandaged arm. He nodded and I took my leave, I was slightly happy that I got to meet a kind person like him. I continued on my way to school, I couldn't wait to see Mizuha and his friends reactions when they saw me.

_My blood seems to be kind to me, maybe I should use it more often_...

I smiled as continued to walk to school. I felt so light and alive for once, I walked past the graveyard that was on the way to school, I paused when I noticed the brown haired boy from before. He was in a suit and was crying in front of a grave.

_He must have lost someone important to_ _him_.. _I hope he will be okay._

I remembered my previous thoughts about ending myself and frowned.

_I don't want to put my mom in a situation like that, I don't want to harm her feelings. Plus, things seem like they might get better for me now._

I stopped looking at the brown haired boy and continued my walk, it would have been ride of me to continue staring at him. I felt a little bad about thinking that he would be the kind to pick on others, seeing him cry like that made me think that he was probably a kind person.

I quickly forgot about the boy as I entered the school, I had never once felt do happy to enter the school. I sat in my desk and waited for the class to start, I smirked at Mizuha again when he entered the class. I felt satisfied when he flinched.

_I didn't even harm you yet you fear me.. Hehe interesting_..

**... Hope ya enjoyed**


	9. Chapter 8: Start the middle school ark

**The story has 20+ chapters...**

**Chapter 8 : Start of the middle school arc**

It had been a few years now since I had discovered how to ward Mizuha and his friends away from me. The change in their actions towards me changed almost instantly, it only took a few more incidents with blood to make the stay away from me.

I was happy, I could now eat lunch at school without the fear of someone jumping me. I was now in middle school, since my bullying problem had stopped my mom had decided that she wouldn't transfer me into a different school.

However, a new problem had appeared after I had taken action all those years ago. Nobody ever came near me, I was avoided like I was carrying the plague. New students were quickly mingled into the social barrier that everyone had created. I was glad that nobody paid any attention to me at first but after a while a dark loneliness began to overwhelm me.

Before middle school my existence was at least acknowledged, however now that I've started high school nobody even so much as glanced at me. I used to get my hopes up whenever a new student arrived but then they became swarmed by my classmates and they became like the others. Eventually I ended up so that I never got my hopes up, I began to believe that I would never obtain the feeling of friendship.

I was laying in my bed, I didn't want to get up or go to school. I didn't want to feel the suffocating loneliness that enveloped me every time I walked through the school doors.

"Aichi, get up"

I rolled over and faced away from my little sister Emi who had grown up slightly. I loved her yet I didn't want to go to school.

"Aichi!"

Emi hugged as she tried to pull away my blankets, I laughed a little at her attempts. I was half on them so I knew she wouldn't have been able to take them away.

"Emi I'm sleeping"

I called as I nuzzled deeper into my warm blankets. I heard my sister sigh, I could tell she was slightly annoyed with me.

"Aichi, you're going to be late for school"

I sighed and got up, I was always forced to go, so I knew that I might as well not be late in my way to school.

_Not like anyone would notice...only my teacher Mr. Kiri would, but then he'd call my mom and is get a scolding._

I looked at Emi, her blue eyes were sparkling with triumph as she watched me get out of bed_._

_Emi it's just getting me out of bed, it's not that hard._

I smiled at Emi, she had grown to be pretty with her short peach hair, I was thankful that she wasn't like me, instead she made many friends.

"Emi I'm up now, go in your way to school now or you'll be late!"

I joked, Emi half glared half pouted at me and left. I was happy that when I was at home I wasn't ignored. I also felt a little bad about causing trouble for Emi and mom.

I looked at the clock and frowned, Emi had lied. I had plenty of time to get ready for school, I looked at my bed wistfully and sighed knowing that by the time I fell asleep I would need to get up again. Instead I got changed into my school uniform, I was glad it was long sleeved. I disliked short sleeves ever since I made friends with the colour red, I just liked the calm feeling I got from seeing it. The colour red always managed to wash away all my thoughts of loneliness, I began to yearn for it and eventually became addicted to it.

There were some days at school there I just had this itching feeling to see my old friend red, I would go home afterwards and satisfy my needs secretly. I had turned into an expert in wrapping bandages throughout the years.

I sighed as I walked downstairs to go to school, I wasn't looking forward to another session of extreme loneliness.

**Remember this is a Aichi growing up story~ however we don't know if the result is good or bad... Well I know but hehe ^_^**


	10. Chapter 9: I do not exist

**Wonder what middle school has in store...**

**Chapter 9 : I do not exist**

I breathed in the cool air outside gratefully, I loved how the air got so clear after raining all night. I wished it was still raining however, if it was less people would come to school which meant less people to ignore me. I walked to school, I had everything I needed including my trusty knife that allowed me to see red when I had one of my cravings.

I watched the dark clouds roll across the sky as I approached the school, I was hoping that a storm would strike soon. Any reason to go home to escape the loneliness of the classroom was good enough for me, I just hated how that even though the class was full, I always felt so alone.

The less people around me made my loneliness disappear while I was at school, the more the class was packed, the more I was suffocated. It seemed really strange that the obvious was the complete opposite from reality in truth.

_I wonder what I will learn in class today_

I had cut down on my self studying because I was no longer afraid of my classmates instead, they seemed to fear me.

I sighed when I entered the class, all my classmates who had been chatting happily together went silent and went to their desks.

_I'm not going to kill anyone sheesh.. I've never actually physically harmed anyone at all except myself.._

I smiled at Mr. Kiri before I headed to my desk, I was glad when he gave me a kind smile in return. Mr. Kiri was really kind to me, my teacher Mr. Sora was okay but he wasn't as kind to me as Mr. Kiri, he was always fair to all of the students and treated them equally. While Mr. Sora seemed to be extra kind towards me which had only resulted in my classmates getting jealous and picking on me more frequently.

When my name was called I got up and answered properly, the snickers I used to hear were no longer present but I sort of missed the attention.

_Any attention is better than absolutely none..no matter how much it hurt._

If I had wanted attention I could have easily became one of those trouble kids, but I didn't want to cause unneeded trouble for others. It just didn't seem fair to take out my social problems onto others, instead I remained a normal student.

_Well normal if you call having your classmates ignore your existence can be called that_.

Today we were doing a mini lab, there was an even amount of students for everyone to have a partner, including me. I sighed sadly when a few people begged to have a group of three people. It stung, knowing that my classmates would go so far as to beg to not be with me.

"But Mr. Kiri! Milla will be all alone if she doesn't join our group!"

Mizuha argued while Milla, one of the new students looked at the floor awkwardly.

"Mizuha the class has an even number of people, no group of three people is needed."

Mr. Kiri motioned in my direction, Mizuha and Milla looked past me as if they didn't see me.

"I don't see anyone..."

Milla whined, Mr. Kiri looked at me worriedly, I smiled and nodded sadly. I didn't want to make Milla miserable by having to associate with me.

It was okay, I was used to situations like this often, everyone denied my existence to Mr. Kiri and he was forced to give in, I would always have to do group work alone.

"Okay... Fine.."

Mr . Kiri looked really upset when he gave into Milla and Mizuha's wishes, I knew that Mr. Kiri cared for me and was worried about me. However I was glad that he didn't favour me openly around others. It would just give them another reason to deny my existence.

I grabbed my equipment and set up the lab by myself, I was thankful that Mr. Kiri didn't take off any marks just because I did the lab by myself. He seemed to be the only teacher that understood me.

_Is it even worth going to school? Isn't home school something that exists? At least then I wouldn't be ignored..._

I frowned and kicked those ideas out of my mind, I couldn't cause my family trouble by being selfish.

**a little harsh? Anyway hope ya enjoyed**


	11. Chapter 10: Surprise

**^_^ hehe~~**

**Chapter 10 : Surprise**

I sighed when I had finished my lab, I looked around at my classmates and they were still fiddling with their experiments, the only good thing about doing a lab on your own is that you don't get distracted.

I looked at my classmates envious of how much fun they were having, I truthfully didn't have much fun with the lab.

_I guess the fun comes from fooling around with your friends while you try to get the lab done._

I watched as one of the groups spilled everything all over the place, I would rather do that and joke about it than do everything perfectly. However I knew that if I just made a mess I would have no one to joke with and if just have to clean it up all by myself.

_I hate lab days..._

I began to put away all my lab equipment when Mr. Kiri walked up to me, he seemed to be uneasy about something.

"Sendou could I speak with you in the hall?"

I tilted my head slightly confused by his request, I didn't think I did anything wrong and he didn't seem to be angry at me.

"Sure.."

Mr. Kiri smiled gratefully when I accepted his offer, I really was confused.

_What does he want?.._

I followed him out of the class, he closed the door so nobody could hear us. I looked at Mr. Kiri expecting an explanation of why he had wanted me out into the hall.

"Sendou... Are you okay?.."

His question quickly caught my full attention, I had known that he seemed worried about me but I had never expected him to ask me so openly before.

"Yeah, why are you asking?.."

I knew that I had to be cautious, if I gave any answers that had a chance of proving Mr. Kiri's suspicion he would immediately call home, the result would be causing my family trouble.

Mr. Kiri shifted his weight a little onto his left leg and looked at his hands that were tapping slightly together. He looked really nervous, I felt a little bad for him because he was new to teaching.

"Well... The looks you give when you watch the other students seem a little, like you're longing to be with them..."

Mr. Kiri's answer took me aback, I didn't realize that I had been doing that, I had always thought that I had a straight face. I forced myself to laugh slightly.

"Mr. Kiri you're funny... Why would you think I would want to associate with them? Do you know how much pa-"

I cut myself off, I was shocked about how much I was about to say. Mr. Kiri looked almost surprised as I felt, it made me slightly uneasy that I let my emotions almost take a hold of me.

_Does this actually bother me that much?... I never realized it before.. What if Mr. Kiri wasn't the only person who had noticed this?.._

"Sendou... I think I may call home about this problem.."

My eyes went wide at the mention of him calling home, that was the one thing that I didn't want to happen at all. I shook my head quickly and looked up at him almost pleadingly.

"Please no..I don't want my family to be troubled.. I'm okay really! Please don't call home.."

I saw uncertainty flicker across Mr. Kiri's violet eyes as if my pleading had made him doubt his decision.

_This may be a chance_!

"Mr. Kiri... If you end up calling home.. I'll end up feeling even more worse than I do right now.."

I looked down and scuffed my shoe against the floor innocently, it was the truth and I hoped that my actions would make Mr. Kiri feel the sympathy he needed to not call home.I heard him sigh and my hopes were lifted.

"Fine Sendou.. Just please be safe"

I nodded at him with false energy and went back to class I though I felt a gaze on me and I looked to the side to se a red haired boy fooling around with his lab, I sighed.

_I must be imagining things, nobody besides Mr. Kiri pays attention to me at school._

The conversation from before stuck into my mind, it made me feel slightly uneasy inside. I felt my pocket and wished that school had already ended, I wanted to see and feel red on me.

I knew that my craving for it would be considered messed up and sick if others found out, however I didn't care. I just became addicted to it a few years ago after feeling its calming sensations it gave me after scaring Mizuha with it.

I laid my head down on my desk as I waited for the long school day to end so I could calm myself down in the only way I knew how to. I seemed to have fallen into a dreamless sleep because I opened my eyes to Mr. Kiri poking me to wake me up, I looked around and saw that everyone had already left. I smiled at him gratefully.

"Thanks for waking me up, sorry I fell asleep"

Mr. Kiri just smiled kindly at me and patted me on the back.

"Sendou it's okay, you did all that was needed to do in class"

Afterwards I left to go find a place to meet up with red, it had been a while since I last saw it. I found a dark ally and crept inside of it, I looked around to find nobody around me. I smiled and pulled out my knife and rolled up my sleeves. I placed the blade on my delicate skin and pressed the blade into it, I smiled when I saw my red in all it's crimson beauty.

"Stop! What the hell are you doing?!"

I looked up shocked to see that red haired classmate running towards me, he pulled the knife out of my hands.

**Dun dun duh! What will happen?!**


	12. Chapter 11: Shock

**Chapter 11: Shock**

I looked at the boy shocked, he was Ishida Naoki from my class, he was glaring at me as he held my arm in one hand and my knife in the other. He was trembling with anger and I didn't know why.

"Ishida... Let go.."

I murmured as I tried to drag my bloodied are away from the red head's grasp, his grip on my arm tightened and he pushed me against the wall, it didn't hurt surprisingly.

_Why would he care... I don't exist in class.._

"No! Sendou do you have any idea about what you've just done?! How can I sit there and watch as someone hurts themselves?!"

His voice was trembling and his hand that was holding the my knife was shaking. I couldn't believe the words he had just said, I was filled with anger and I pushed Ishida away from me, and glared at him.

"_Sit back and watch?_! That's funny, very funny.. That's what everyone has been doing for years! Nobody cares... And you think you can just waltz up to me and tell me to stop?! What right do _**you**_ have?"

I was shocked when he slumped to the ground, he had tears flowing out of his yellow eyes, I couldn't believe that I had hurt him.

_Oh no... I can't believe I was so cruel just now_...

I covered my mouth and crouched down so I was at eye level with Ishida, I wanted to comfort him and apologize to him but I didn't know how.

"Ishida I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have yelled at you.."

He shook his head and hastily wiped away his tears with his sleeve, he looked up at me with sadness swirling within his yellow eyes.

"No Sendou... You were right.. I had been ignoring you like the rest of them.. I was afraid of being judged.. I realized today during the science lab just how much you've been hurting..I wanted to apologize so I followed you here..."

I was shocked by Ishida's confession, I felt strange emotions appear within me, I didn't know how to react to this red haired boy's words. He had been watching me all this time, I remembered back to the times when I felt like I was being watched, it was often but I always brushed the feeling off as being impossible. I couldn't believe that there was a person who acknowledged my existence besides Mr. Kiri and my family.

"Ishida... Is this true..?"

He nodded sadly, I easily saw the shame that was written all across his face, I could tell that be wasn't lying.

"Why have you bothered to watch me anyway? It's not like I'm special or anything.."

Ishida smiled sadly at me.

"I felt like we were alike... I've always been the loner type who had not may friends, the ones i had wernt very close, you had no friends at all though ... The difference was that you seemed to attract unwanted attention so easily while others didn't bother being mean to me.."

I sighed as I Remembered how I never saw Ishida smile and laugh happily with the people he was always around, from my memory I knew that I could believe him.

"I forgive you Ishida.. Now could you please leave and let me continue what I was doing before?" My eyes flickered towards my arm that had blood trailing down it onto the floor then to my knife. Ishida's eyes went wide and his sadness was replaced with anger.

"No! It's stupid doing that to yourself! You shouldn't harm yourself just because you're sad!"

His fists were clenched and I frowned and couldn't meet his gaze, I didn't want to face him.

"I'm not trying to die... I don't want to make my family sad... I just want to relieve myself from my loneliness..."

_I'm always alone... I'll probably always stay alone... The only light within my world is my dear family and my friend red_..

Ishida backed away, his eyes expressed a mixture of hurt and sadness, I could also detect some shock. He began to tremble, it confused me because his moods had been switching a lot.

"Sendou... No Aichi... I'm so sorry.. I-if I knew how much you've been hurting all this time.. I would have come to you sooner... Please... Let me make it up to you.."

Ishida was crying, I couldn't believe that he was crying for me. I never expected that anyone would ever cry for me with sincerity.

"Ishida... How?..."

He ripped off a piece of his shirt and began to wrap it around my fresh cuts that I had made, when he had finished he looked at me and smiled lightly, he had stopped crying but his eyes were still a little moist.

"Aichi, let's be friends"

I gasped in shock, I had never heard those words said to me before. I looked at Ishida with wide eyes and nodded hesitantly.

_Is he actually going to be my friend?... I hope this isn't a trick but... I'd rather take the risk_..

** can't have this story all depressing~ X3 anyway don't worry there's no parings**


	13. Chapter 12: powers at work

**Chapter 12 : powers at work**

I couldn't believe that I had gained my first friend, it was like I had exited reality and had entered a dream. After I agreed to become friends with Naoki he made me promise that I would do my very best not to meet my friend red. Of course I agreed but afterwards I felt slightly uneasy about never seeing my friend red again.

I had also asked Naoki to tell nobody about what he had caught me doing in that ally, I was scared of how others would react when they found out that I loved seeing my own blood. I was relieved when he said he would keep his promise so long as I didn't harm myself even more I liked how he was more reasonable than I thought he would be. At first I thought that he was just one of those trouble makers who were rude but surprisingly he was a nice guy.

After our deal he made sure that I was okay then walked me straight home, he seemed to be a little worried that I would have passed out if he didn't keep his eye on me. My moms reaction when she saw Naoki was one of pure shock and happiness as she eagerly questioned Naoki about himself. I felt a little bad for him being pestered by my mom but it seemed like he was just a little shy, after a while he left for his own home.

"So Aichi I'm glad you've made a friend!"

My mom cheered as she hugged me tightly so that I couldn't breathe until she released me. I sighed , I was tired from everything that had happened today. The unexpected happened and that's all there was to it.

_Hmm I wonder what's going to happen tomorrow... Will I hang out with Noaki_?

I smiled at the the thought of being able to experience what it would feel like to have somebody who I could call an friend.

"Ooo Aichi's smiling! What happened?"

Emi who had just walked into the house gasped at the sight of me smiling, I snapped out of my thoughts and looked over at Emi happily.

"Aichi has a friend"

My mom patted my head gently as she told Emi everything that she had learned about Naoki Ishida, Emi listened intently with a big grin on her face as mom explained.

I sighed and climbed the stairs to my room, I was just so tired I yawned and flopped onto my bed, not caring about my homework that I should be doing instead of lazing about.

_I won't get that many problems from just one day of missed homework, it would be my first time missing it this year so I'll probably get a warning. _

_Naoki Ishida.. My first ever friend, I hope out classmates don't start to ignore his existence also.. If they did.. I'd rather not have a friend at all. I don't want my first friend to suffer because of me._

I just lazed in my bed for a few hours until Emi called me for supper, I felt too tired to eat but I went downstairs to the table anyways. When I saw and smelt dinner, my appetite suddenly came quickly all tiredness from today had been lost.

"So Aichi, what you going to do with your new friend tomorrow?"

Emi asked before she took a mouthful of the glazed ham that was on her plate. I paused and thought.

Hmm what will I do? How do friends act together... One thing for sure however is that we won't bully others like I've seen my classmates do.

"I don't know Emi, I'll find out tomorrow I guess"

Emi smiled at my answer, I loved her smile. It made me so happy that my hopes had come true and she had many friends at school.

"Geez Aichi , you should have planned something fun!"

I sighed at Emi's suggestion, I knew that no matter what, as long as I was no longer alone at school I would probably have fun. I couldn't wait for tomorrow, it would be the first day in middle school that I wouldn't be suffocated my the heavy aura of loneliness,that always swallowed me up as I stepped onto the school grounds.

When I had finished eating I sleepily crawled up the stairs, I was tempted to fall asleep onto them but I knew I would have to get off of them sooner or later. I figured it would be less trouble for me if I were to just lay in my bed. It felt strange, I hadn't been this exhausted before in so long, it made me slightly happy.

_Maybe tomorrow I can become even more exhausted from having fun._

I sighed happily as I allowed my consciousness to fade into a peaceful sleep filled with strange dreams that seemed to vivid to be dreams. Everything around me was white then all of a sudden I was sitting in class but things were strange, everyone seemed different and older.

"Hey Sendou , what are we going to the vanguard club after school?"

I looked at the stranger confused, he was wearing glasses and his hair was beige in a cowl cut style.

"Huh? What's vangaurd?"

I asked the student confused, he gave me a strange look and laughed.

_What's so funny?_

_"_Nice joke Sendou"

His voice faded away and I was flashed to a different area I looked around in shock as I saw how many people were around me. The building seemed familiar, it took me a while to realize where I was.

_It's the place where that green haired guy bandaged me up after I scared Mizuha_..

I held my head in pain, the images that kept flashing through my mind felt as if they were tearing it to pieces. Suddenly everything went back to the colour white and the pain began to cease.

"Heed my words Sendou Aichi, you will not be allowed to return until your role is over"

A voice that was void of emotion snaked around me, I looked around, trying to locate its source but saw nothing.

"Where is this place?"

I was confused, it felt like I've heard this voice before, it was like I've experience a this before but in a different place.

"That does not matter Sendou Aichi, you shall rest now and will not remember this dream when you awaken"

The voice whispered, I felt my eyelids begin to feel heavy and everything went black. When I opened my eyes I was in my room, I yawned at stretched as I got up from bed, eager to start the new school day.

**hehe the strange voice from the start~~**


	14. Chapter 13: Anticipation

**^_^ hehe~ **

**Chapter 13: Anticipation**

I was curious how everyone in my class would react, it slightly worried me. Not because I was afraid for myself but I was worried that Naoki might end up getting treated how I was treated. I frowned at the thought that his life could get ruined just because he had asked to become my friend and I had selfishly accepted the offer.

I shook my head quickly to dissipate any negative thoughts that were forming inside my mind beforehand. I wanted today to be a great day filled with fun.

_Today will be the first time I've spent with a friend, I've got to make sure I'm positive! _

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I eagerly got dressed for school, I then went downstairs to get some breakfast. I was glad when I was greeted with the smell of fresh pancakes being cooked, I peeked into the kitchen and my mood lit up when I saw that they were already finished to be eaten.

"Ah good morning Aichi, you're up early today"

My mom smiled as she took off her apron and began to wash the dishes. I walked over and sat in my chair so I could begin eating my pancakes.

"Yep, thanks for the pancakes mom!"

I smiled before I began to eat the fluffy pancakes that were drizzled with syrup.

_Today seems like it'll be a great day, I hope I'm right._

When I finished eating I put my plate in the sink then saw Emi come walking into the kitchen rubbing her eye.

"Mom the worlds ending..."

Emi yawned as she continued to run the sleep out of her blue eyes, my mom just smiled and put a towel and a plate down.

"Why is that Emi?"

"Aichi got up way before me!"

We laughed at Emi's childish joke, it was true that Emi is always up before me usually. So me getting up before her was a huge deal.

"Well I'm off to school!"

I called as I grabbed my shoes and ran out the door, the air was fresh and felt great. The weather seemed as if it also wanted me to have a great day, I couldn't help but smile at my silly thought, knowing that the weather isn't able to do anything like that.

"Oi Aichi!"

I stopped running right in my tracks, I looked around confused but then smiled when I noticed Naoki running towards me waving his hand in a silly manner.

"Hi Naoki, how are you?"

I asked as he reached me, he seemed to have run quite the distance because he was panting hard for breath.

"Ah I'm great, just tired from running"

I tilted my head confused as we walked to school.

"Why were you running"

Naoki smiled a silly smile at me.

"I live quite the distance away and I wanted to walk to school with you"

_Wow, Naoki sure is_ _kind, I'm glad I'm his friend._

"Ah how did you know I take this route?"

Naoki looked away somewhat guilty the looked back towards me with a bit of unease.

"I... Used to see you walk this way all the time when Mizuha.."

He trailed off, I knew what he meant and I smiled happily at him, knowing that he shouldn't feel any guilt.

"Ah... Well anyway I'm happy we got to walk together to school! I never thought I'd get to do this with a friend before"

I couldn't help but smile, until I noticed faint worry flicker across Naoki's face.

"You never expected... I'm sorry.. I should have gained the guts to talk to you sorry.."

I looked up at the blue sky and enjoyed the fresh breeze that had started to blow, then looked back towards Naoki with a smile.

"It's fine, I'm just happy I have a friend as good as you now"

I heard a sigh come from Naoki and I looked at him confused.

"Aichi, how can you tell if I'm a good friend or not? We've only just made contact yesterday?"

I paused to think for a while.

"You seem kind and you're obviously a caring person, that's why I think you're such a good friend."

He looked at me with then smiled and nodded, it seemed weird yet good. I had thought that I would have been too nervous to speak properly but that didn't seem to be the case.

_I guess I longed for a friend to talk to more than I had initially thought.. Well that problems solved now_.


	15. Chapter 14: It's my fault

**Chapter 14: It's my fault**

On our way to school, me and Naoki talked and learned about each other, it turned out that he was actually relatively smart. I really enjoyed walking together, it made me feel happy to know that I won't be alone at school anymore and for that, I was glad.

When the two of us approached the school I started to feel slightly uneasy, I couldn't help but worry about what would happen to Naoki when everyone notices he was now my friend. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped slightly, I looked back and sighed with relief when I saw that it had been Naoki.

"Aichi, what's wrong?"

I could hear the concern in his voice, it surprised me slightly but also made me greatly happy. I smiled weakly at Naoki, I knew that I shouldn't keep my worries towards myself but I was just too afraid to voice them.

"I'm fine, just feeling a little under the weather."

Naoki looked at me for a second then smiled as he accepted my response which I was thankful of. I picked up my walking pace as I headed towards my seat, I didn't want others to notice Naoki who was now at my side.

"Sheesh Aichi what gives? Walking so fast all of a sudden"

"Ah sorry Naoki, I just want to sit"

I sighed as I sat down in my seat, I looked through the corner of my eye and saw Mizuha looking at Naoki with a confused look on his face. I flinched slightly as he got up and walked towards us, he didn't so much as glance at me as he walked by.

"Hey Naoki! What are ya doing over here talking to yourself?"

Mizuha smiled as he patted Naoki on the back, I noticed the shocked expression that creeped upon his face.

"Mizuha.. I'm talking to Aichi, not myself"

Naoki's voice was firm and his fists were clenched, Mizuha just laughed slightly and gave a strange grin.

"Naoki, it's not funny trying to lie. There's nobody named Aichi in this class"

Even though I had been expecting those words, I still couldn't cover the hurt that I was feeling. Naoki seemed like he was seething with anger towards Mizuha, it hurt knowing that I was the cause of Naoki's current problems.

"Yes there is Mizuha! He's right there! Why does everyone insist on denying his existence?! He human just like us you know!"

Naoki pointed at me as he yelled at Mizuha, I knew that we were friends but I still couldn't believe how angry he had gotten.

Mizuha sighed.

"No he's a freak"

Milla ran up to Mizuha and grabbed his arm and smiled towards him.

"Mizuha why are you standing here all alone? Come back to the group!"

A cruel grin spread across Mizuha's face as he nodded towards Milla. I was frozen at her words.

_All alone... But Naoki's here... Oh no.. I've ruined his life now.. He'll end up just like me, all because I was selfish and agreed to his offer.._

"Ah sorry Milla,I don't know what came over me"

Mizuha and Milla then went back to join with their friends, I looked over at Naoki. I couldn't believe that because of me, he also didn't exist in class. I could feel the tears that were threatening to fall down my face, I quickly got up from my seat and ran out the door, I wanted to get away from everybody and everything. Once I was off school grounds I allowed my tears to fall as I ran. I ran not caring where I would end up, all I cared about was getting as far away from everything as I could.

_I can't believe that because of me Naoki had to suffer like I did.. It's not fair, all he did was show kindness towards me_. _What does he get? A bunch of bullies denying his existence along with my own_...

_If I just didn't accept his offer, Naoki would probably be able to interact with our classmates still. He may not know it yet, but he will also fall into loneliness as well.._

_All because of me._

_I knew I didn't deserve a friend, I knew of what might happen if others saw us talking together.. But still.._

_Even though I knew.. I was selfish and said yes.._

I kept thinking similar thoughts as I ran blindly through the town, I had reached areas that I didn't recognize however I still didn't stop running. I didn't want to be found, I was afraid. Afraid of what would happen if I was found, I had run away from school after having my only friend get hurt because of me. My mom and Emi would surely be disappointed in me, I had caused trouble for not only them but who was responsible for the class. I had also caused way too much trouble for the first person who had ever asked me to become their friend.

After I had run long enough for me to feel pain with every breath I took I slunk into a side street. By the look of all the litter and trash that occupied it, I could tell that it was rarely ever traversed.

I allowed myself to slink down into a shadowed corner in the side street, I knew that I would easily go unseen so long as I were to Stay silent. I huddled together with my knees to my chest and my head resting on my knees.

As I cried I noticed something glint out of the corner of my eyes, I timidly picked it up and saw that it was a broken shard of glass, presumably from a broken bottle. I stared at the shard intently, craving to see my friend red, maybe even let red lead me out towards the sky.

_I've already proven to be nothing but trouble, causing problems for people who cared about me.._

_I don't deserve to see them ever again.. Very few people will notice if I were to disappear.. Even then they'll eventually get over it and forget about me.._

_So why not?_

_**aichi...**_


	16. Chapter 15: red comes for a visit

**So short ~**

Chapter 15: red comes for a visit

I held the shard of glass delicately against my cheek as I took comfort within its presence. The sharpness felt all too familiar, reminding me of my favourite blade that I kept stored hidden in the back of my closet. I moved the shard of glass away from my cheek, I hadn't applied enough pressure to cut into my soft skin.

It glinted Eerily in the dim lighting of the ally, I smiled as I placed the glass on my arm.

_I'm sorry mom, Emi... I'm going to disappoint you guys.. I'm just too much of a waste of space to be allowed to live.._

_Mom, you've always given me more love than I have deserved. You've always made me smile when I was sad, I don't think there will ever be a greater mom than you.._

_Emi, my dear little sister.. Watching you grow up as much as you have.. Filled me with such happiness. I'm glad that you're nothing like your failure of a big brother...I'm sorry I'm going to have to leave the both of you.._

I slowly applied pressure on the glass shard that I had and smiled faintly at the sight of my old friend greeting me. It made me feel the calming sensation that red always granted me whenever it visits me. I looked at my arm feeling a little guilty, I had broken my promise to Naoki by allowing red to visit me.

_I'm sorry Naoki.. I guess this means I'm back to being all alone once again.. Maybe once I'm gone, people in our class will start to acknowledge your existence again.._

I once again brought the glass up towards my arm, I had found my resolve. I would no longer hesitate, I was going to go up towards the sky today. I laughed slightly, it was a dry laugh that had been sapped of all possible humour. I guessed that instead of heading towards the sky, I would probably end up going down to the depths of hell.

_I'm a useless person who no matter what, causes more trouble than their worth_... _Isn't it only natural that I never make it to the clouds, I'm sorry for being such a failure in life..._

I swiftly struck the shard against my pale skin, I winced at the throbbing stinging sensation that resonates from the new gash, it spread deeply from my forearm to my wrist. The crimson liquid that held my lifeline dripped fluently down my arm like a river, it scared me slightly but I swallowed my fear down. I wasn't going to allow my fear to overtake me after I had come so far, it seemed like it would be too late anyway.

I switched the hands that I was holding my helpful replacement for my trusted knife, My left arm had become too wet and sticky to inflict anymore damage towards it. I aimed the shard towards my right arm and struck down towards it, I but my lip as I surpassed the whimper of pain that tried to escape my mouth. It hurt yes, however the pain I felt inside me was more painful than the physical pain I've inflicted upon myself.

I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face as I smiled at my friend red, it had visited way more than usual this time. I didn't think it would go away anytime soon, the tears made my already blurring vision become even worse than before.

I truly didn't understand why my tears were falling, I didn't have anymore friends, and I had become a true disappointment for my family yet, I was afraid of disappearing.

The thought of never seeing my mom's smile or my sister's laugh scared me. The thought of leaving this world all alone hurt, I had no energy left however. It seemed as if it was too late, I couldn't save myself even if I had tried.

I sighed as everything around me began to fade into a deep and complete darkness as I felt my blood trickle with speed out of my veins, I smiled as I drifted into nothingness.


	17. Chapter 16: What you've caused

** it's a odd chapter because its going to show Naoki's reaction to what had transpired in the classroom~ anyway I don't own Cardfight vangaurd..the sad thing is, Bushiroad does...**

**Ps: I'm unfamiliar with writing third person..so please criticize so I can improve my third person writing~**

**Chapter 16: do you even know what you've caused?**

The red headed boy who was named Naoki Ishida stared at the door in shock, his blue haired friend had ran out of the room, seeming to be on the verge of tears. The red haired teen balled his fists angrily and turned quickly to glare at the cause of Aichi's pain; Mizuha and his friends.

He couldn't believe that his classmates had continued on with their cruel and stupid game towards Aichi. He had grown fond of his blue haired friend even though they had only just met recently, he seemed to be a kind hearted boy who just happened to have people picking on him.

Naoki couldn't contain the anger that was seething out of him, the memory of how he found Aichi after tailing after school flashed through the red head's mind. His yellow eyes went wide in realization at what his blue haired friend might do. He knew that he needed to search for Aichi, however he knew that he wouldn't be able to do it alone, he would need help.

With this in mind, the red head stalked over towards Mizuha and his group, none of them didn't do so much as bat an eyelash when the angry teen approached them.

"Oi..."

Naoki growled, he became frustrated when he was completely ignored. He began to understand the frustration Aichi must have gone through after all those years of being non existent in class, yet he himself hadn't existed in class for more than twenty minutes.

"Mizuha...answer me damn it!"

The group still continued to ignore the red haired teen, he grit his teeth and picked up Mizuha by the collar, luckily want present in class yet or else he would have gotten into serious trouble.

"Gah...let go Ishida..."

Mizuha choked out, Naoki smirked with content when Mizuha quit his puny game as soon as The red haired boy had begun to harm him.

"Mizuha have you any idea how much you've harmed Aichi?..."

His voice was cold and still, it didn't seem to contain any of the many emotions that he had bundled up inside of him. The red haired boy wanted to make Mizuha feel fear, he had wanted him to listen to his words.

The beige haired teen being hung by his collar shook his head quickly, his hazel eyes were filled with fear towards the red head, he had gazed over at his friends but they seemed to be in too much shock to be able to help him.

Mizuha's answer made Naoki glare yellow daggers towards him, causing him to visibly shiver in fear. He seemed to be wondering why wasn't in the class yet, the school bell had already rung.

"Mizuha... You're funny game you've been playing with your friends has caused Aichi more harm than you've thought..."

Mizuha looked towards the red head in shock, his voice trembled as he spoke which to Mizuha, didn't seem good. Naoki had always been one of the stronger people emotionally in class so he had never been seen like that.

"I...don't understand,please explain"

Mizuha's voice was calm, not because he felt calm, but because everything that happened today was just too much for the beige haired boy. The teen felt a little numb from being overwhelmed by everything.

Naoki tensed for a second, then he forced himself to relax as he lowered the beige haired boy so that he stood on his feet. Mizuha gave Naoki a look of slight gratitude from being released from the red heads grasp.

"Aichi... You've noticed how he's sensitive to even the smallest of things right?"

Mizuha's hazel eyes narrowed for a second as he thought then he looked towards Naoki and nodded, he felt slightly uneasy as to where this conversation would lead.

"...yes Sendou has always seemed sensitive and also very timid.. That's why he was the perfect person for the game..."

Mizuha felt slight fear after he had answered the red head's question, he feared that it might provoke the red head to lift him up again.

"Aichi was the worst choice... Do you hate him for some reason?"

Mizuha shook his head, he had never found any reason to hate the blue haired boy in question. Sure he had creeped him out with all the blood, however the blue haired boy had never once cause trouble for him.

**only 1 more chappy like this after this- then it's back to normal**


	18. Chapter 17: Unexpected guilt

**Chapter 17: Unexpected Guilt**

Naoki glared towards the beige haired teen, the red head couldn't believe that there seemed to be no reason for Aichi's torment than just torment itself. Mizuha looked away from Naoki with unease, he felt less secure when his friends weren't backing him up.

"Mizuha... Because of you and you're sick little game you've created, Aichi might die"

The red haired voice sounded forced, as if Naoki had trouble to even say those grim words to the beige haired boy. Mizuha's eyes went wide, he was absolutely shocked. The beige haired boy had never expected that his actions towards Aichi would lead to such consequences.

"What do you mean Ishida?..."

Mizuha's voice was soft from shock of the information that his mind was still trying to digest.

"All this time Aichi had been alone, he never had friends thanks to you Mizuha.. He probably thought he was utterly alone with nobody on his side.. What have you heard about what people like that do?"

"They... Oh my god!.. Don't tell me, he?!"

The red haired boy nodded his head grimly to answer the beige haired teen's question, who in turn had his hazel eyes go wide in shock.

"Mizuha... Aichi's probably run away somewhere, you know the streets well I presume right?"

Mizuha nodded, the beige haired boy could tell where this conversation was headed, he couldn't believe he had managed to harm Aichi much.

"Yes, I always hang around. I guess you want me to help search for Sendou?"

Naoki shook his head, he grabbed Mizuha's arm with his hand as he looked into his hazel eyes fiercely.

"No, you will help me search for Aichi!"

The beige haired teen nodded, he was struck with guilt that he had managed to make Aichi take such actions. Naoki smiled gratefully at the boy and the two of them ran out of the classroom, passing Mr. Kiri on the way by. He seemed to have been leaning outside of the door frame listening in on their conversation, a slight smile slid across the teacher's face as he watched his students run out the door.

"So Ishida, where do you think Aichi would hide?"

Mizuha panted as both boys ran through the school hallways towards the front door, the red haired boy frowned.

"Somewhere dark.. A place where he wouldn't usually be found unless followed"

The memory of when he followed Aichi only to see the blue haired boy slash his arms, flashed through the red head's mind. He shook his head, not wanting to allow those thoughts to enter his mind again.

"Okay got it... Well we shouldn't check near the school because he seemed as if he wanted to be alone. How bout the alleys that are far away?"

The beige haired boy suggested as they burst though the front doors into the outside world, they heard other teachers yell at them but the two teens ignored them. They both had something they had to do.

Mizuha needed to apologize to Aichi, whom he had caused so much harm to without even noticing, while Naoki needed to find his kind blue haired friend who was too kind to be allowed to suffer. Both were determined to make things right with the sad blue haired boy.

The boys had run for quite a while until they were panting for breath, Naoki was confused as to why the beige haired boy insisted that they should stop running.

"What's the deal Mizuha?"

"Sendou wouldn't be more athletic than us, we're it athletic the same is with Sendou. He should be around here if my guess is correct"

Naoki looked towards the beige haired boy with surprise, he hadn't expected Mizuha to be capable of such a deep thinking capability. Mizuha glared towards the red haired boy as if he could read his mind.

Once the boys caught their breath they split up after exchanging cell phone numbers, they needed to contact each other if something were to happen. Both teens wished that this precaution would end up unnecessary.

The red haired teen took to the alleys on the right while his beige haired partner took to the left side. Naoki cursed at how many alleys Tokyo had, it made the red haired teen's unease grow with every passing second. He knew that Aichi was most likely harming himself and breaking his promise.

Naoki sighed as he exited one ally only to enter another one, the pain and hurt that flashed throughout Aichi's eyes as he turned and ran away truly scared the boy. From what he had learned about the blue haired boy in their short time together was that he was shy, kind, timid and thought of others a lot. Naoki knew that Aichi was probably hurt about how he had resulted in making another person cease to exist in class.

"Aichi, you better not be doing anything stupid! Or I swear I'll..."

The red head was cut off from talking to himself by the sound of his phone ringing. Without any pause it was picked up.

Mizuha: Ishida... I..I f-found A-Aichi..

The red head cocked his head to the side confused by Mizuha's stuttering on the other end.

Naoki: that's great where is he?

There was a long pause before the beige haired boy answered Naoki's question.

Mizuha: he's in the fourth ally on my side of the street... Sendou needs help, I'll call an ambulance right now. I'm hanging up.

The red head's eyes went wide at Mizuha's words, fear gripped the teen as he sprinted towards the location Mizuha had stated on the phone.

When the red head arrived at the scene he gasped in shock, Mizuha seemed to be bandaging up Aichi's arms. A thick puddle of blood surrounded the blue haired boy as he was slumped limply in a dark corner. He seemed to have tear stains that showed that he had been crying.

The red head crouched down beside Mizuha, he noticed that his hazel eyes were wide with shock and regret as he finished the bandages that were made out if scraps of his own shirt.

"He was like this when I found him.."

Mizuha whimpered, the poor teen was being attacked by guilt and regret as he stared at the lifeless body.

Naoki sighed with relief when he felt a pulse, it was faint but it was definitely there. Both boys looked towards the ally entranceway hoping to see the medics soon, both were afraid to move the fragile boy, or that they might have been to late.

**next chappy is normal~~**


	19. Chapter 18: Thank you

**Chapter 18: Thank you**

It's dark, I couldn't see, I felt as if I had been torn away from my body and placed in a room of never ending darkness. However the one thing that told me that I was alive was a stinging sensation, I couldn't locate it's position, it could have been my arms or legs, or even my entire body. That, I did not know.

_Am I dead?.. No, if I were dead I wouldn't be feeling anything, yet if I'm not dead, where am I? Maybe I'm on the verge of death..._

I felt unease creep within me, I looked around the emptiness in fear, I hadn't been afraid then but now, I couldn't shake my fear away.

_Why?..why am I afraid?.. When I make red appear I had no fear at all.. So why.. Do I actually want to live somehow? I don't understand.. I'd just be put through more loneliness.. Yet, I don't want to leave just yet.._

I suddenly noticed a light had made its way into the dark area that I was currently occupying, it seemed fragile yet warm. I timidly reached towards it, somehow that faint white light reminded me of the sun, even though the sun wasn't white and it was brighter. Maybe it was like a sun compared to the empty darkness around it, I didn't care, I just wanted to reach it.

_Please let me out of this darkness, I'm afraid of leaving the world of the living... I don't feel ready to die, I might have before but.. I, want to live now.. I know it's selfish wishing for life, even though I tried to die but still.. I want to live.._

When my hand reached the light I pulled it towards me slowly, it was small yet it was radiating a soft warmth. The stinging pain within me still lingered yet it wasn't as noticeable now that I could feel warmth, I brought the warmth to my chest and closed my eyes slowly.

I could suddenly hear a rhythmic beeping sound and the smell of disinfectant hit me, it was slightly overwhelming compared to the darkness that I was in just a few moments ago.

_Where am I?... I'm still not dead, yet I'm not in the alley... Did someone find me?.. But who_?

I opened my eyes slowly, so as not to harm my eyes by the sudden light that would reach them. When my vision focused I saw that I truly had been saved and that I was laying inside a hospital bed. I got up slowly wincing from the pain in my arms, my gaze wandered over my bandaged arms and I smiled, I was thankful for being alive.

"Aichi...Aichi!"

I looked up in surprise to see Naoki looking at me, his yellow eyes were wide with a mixture of surprise and shock. I suddenly felt a little shy towards my red haired friend, I had broke my promise, what's worse it was so soon after it was made. I looked away sadly, afraid to look him in the eyes any longer.

I heard the sound of Naoki rushing out the door of my hospital room shouting for someone, I sat there silently as I waited, I didn't know what else I should have done. I suddenly heard a bunch of footsteps heading towards my room, I was confused.

_Why is there so many pairs of footsteps? Not many people would want to see me right now would they? I thought everyone would be mad at me._

I jumped slightly when Naoki came bursting into the room followed by my mom and Emi, they all had tears in their eyes. I felt extremely guilty about being selfish and trying to end myself, at the same time however, I was grateful that I had survived my stupidity.

"Aichi!"

Emi cried as she hopped onto my bed and hugged me tightly, I could feel her warm tears as she cried into my shirt. I timidly place my hand on her head and stroked her peach hair and smiled sadly. I could feel my own tears threatening to fall.

"I'm sorry..."

My voice came out as a whisper, I couldn't believe that I had done something so stupid that would make my little sister cry so much. Emi looked up at me, tears still spilling from her blue eyes.

"Stupid Aichi.. You had me and mom so scared... We thought.. That we were going lose you"

I looked over at my mom, she hasn't said anything yet but her teal eyes were moist with tears as she nodded slowly. My gaze then rested upon my friend Naoki, he had tear stains as well on his face.

"I'm..so sorry.. I broke my promise Naoki.."

I gripped my bed sheets tightly, feeling guilt washing over me in continuous waves, I had broke my promise had made everyone I cared about cry.

"Idiot! Who cares about the promise anymore! You almost died.. I'm just.. Thankful that you're okay... Do do anything like that ever again!"

Naoki yelled, his eyes were closed and his fists were clenched showing how upset he was, I smiled at him sadly.

"Naoki..."

The red head's eyes went wide open in fear as he looked at me with dismay.

"Don't tell me you're going to do that again..."

I shook my head and looked down at my bed sheets still within my grasp.

"I felt scared but only after it had been too late.. For some reason I don't want to die anymore yet I can't figure out why... I'm thankful I'm right here alive with you guys.."

I suddenly heard the door open and I looked over curious to see who had entered the room, my eyes went wide when I saw Mizuha.

**whatll happen next? **


	20. Chapter 19: Forgivness

**Chapter 19: Forgivness **

I looked at the beige haired teen who entered my room in shock, I had never expected Mizuha of all people to visit me in the hospital. It would have been assured to expect the teen yet, here he was standing in front of me, hazel eyes staring at the ground with unease.

"Mizuha.. Why are you... Here?"

I wanted to know why he came, he was the cause of my pain and loneliness all these years.

"Sendou..."

Mizuha's hazel gaze lifted up from the ground and rested upon me, his expression surprised me. Instead of the hate I was used to, his eyes were swirling with sadness and regret, he also seemed as if he too had been crying.

_Why would Mizuha cry? Doesn't he feel joy in making my life miserable?.. If so... Then why?_

"Sendou I'm sorry_..."_

I looked at the hazel eyed teen in complete shock, those were the words I had least expected to come from his mouth.

"What?... D-did you just say you're _sorry_?"

Mizuha glanced away from me for a second then nodded slowly, his hands were cupped together and fidgeting slightly. I had never seen Mizuha look so completely vulnerable before, he looked as if even the slightest thing could shatter him to bits, I had never seen him like that before.

"Yes... I didn't think that what I was doing was causing you so much harm... I only meant for it to become a joke Sendou.. I'm so sorry, if I knew how much it was hurting you, I would have stopped sooner."

Mizuha's voice seemed to waver as he apologized to me, I couldn't help but smile. I could tell that Mizuha was telling the truth and that he really was truly sorry. However something still confused me.

"Mizuha, why did you choose me for your game?..."

I was slightly afraid of the answer, I was afraid of the harsh words that I used to receive from him, even though I knew that they wouldn't be coming this time.

"Well, I had nothing against you at all, I just... Didn't know you so I thought that it would be fun, also you were so quiet and shy I didn't think that you would tell... I'm sorry... The truth is, I have nothing against you Sendou... When you scared me with all that blood that one time, I switched the game to ignoring you, I even made everyone play along..."

Mizuha's words came to me with relief, I was glad that I hadn't done anything wrong to cause him to choose me specifically. Yet it also made me slightly sad, it was so unfair to be chosen that way.

"I see..."

Mizuha suddenly grabbed my hands, I flinched out of habit at his touch. Mizuha seemed to have noticed this because he frowned sadly, his hazel eyes still filled with guilt.

"Ah sorry... I didn't mean to startle you, it's just... I would also like to be your friend.. I know I have no right to ask this of you but still, I want to make it up to you Sendou"

I smiled at Mizuha, he seemed so different from the Mizuha that I knew, yet this seemed like his true self.

"Mizuha... I seemed to have misjudged you all this time, yes it would be nice to be your friend"

Naoki suddenly put one of his hands on both of our heads and ruffled our hair, he had a goofy grin covering his face.

"Well now that everything's settled, we can hang out as soon as you're discharged from the hospital Aichi!"

I looked over towards my mom, she hadn't said anything at all the whole time she was here.

"Mom, when am I aloud out of the hospital?.."

She smiled warmly at me, her cyan eyes were filled with such affection it made me feel lighter. I was glad, glad that my mom wasn't mad at me for trying to do something that was completely stupid.

"You're able to go to school tomorrow Aichi, that's if you want to"

I looked over at Mizuha and Naoki they nodded towards me and smiled. I nodded back then looked back towards my mom.

"Id like to go to school tomorrow if that's okay"

My mom hagged me tightly, her hug felt so warm and safe, I was so glad that I had been saved. If I hadn't been saved I probably wouldn't have ever felt my mom's warm hugs ever again or see Emi's kind smile.

After everyone left, my mom took me and Emi home so I could get ready for school when I woke up, I felt slightly nervous about going back to school. I had run out of the classroom all of a sudden and caused a lot of problems, however I knew that I couldn't run away from my problems anymore, I had two new friends to help me.

I wondered how everyone would treat me once I arrived, I didn't like being unsure but even so, I had already decided to go to school tomorrow even if I still felt uneasy when I woke up.

I went to go change into my pyjamas, when I had taken off my shirt I looked at my bandaged arms sadly. I went over towards my dresser drawer and pulled out my old knife, I smiled as I tossed it into the trash bin, I knew that I probably wouldn't need it ever again.

_Even if I begin to feel sad again... I've got friends who I can trust and talk to, I should have realized that when I ran out of the classroom._

I wondered if should wear long sleeves often, I shook my head and decided not to.

_When my bandages are removed, the scars will be a reminder, a reminder that I don't want to die anymore, a reminder to always be grateful for my life._


	21. Chapter 20: Friends

**Chapter 20: Friends**

I was woken up by Emi gently shaking me, I groaned and tried to huddle into the warmth of my blankets, they felt so cozy compared to the chilled air of my room.

"Aichi come on, you need to get up"

I peeked my head out of my bundle if blankets to see my little sister frowning at me with her hands on her hips, I shivered at the cold breeze that greeted me.

"It's cold..."

I whined as I went to huddle back into my blankets, I heard her sigh then felt her tugging at my blankets.

"It's your fault for leaving the window open overnight, come on get up. You don't want to be late for school"

I obediently got out of my warm bundle of blankets at the mention of school, I was curious about what would happen today. I wondered if I would finally begin to exist in the classroom, I shook my head and smiled.

_Mizuha is my friend now, he was the one who started everything. So now that he's stopped, that means everyone else will stop right?_

I looked over at Emi and lead her out the door of my room then closed the door, so I could get changed into my school uniform. I winced slightly at the sensation of my uniforms touch against my sensitive bandaged arms, the feeling stung but I shrugged it off. I wanted to go to school today and I didn't want to let a little bit of irritation stop me.

_The pain will heal but the scars will remain, reminding me how important life is._

When I had finished changing I exited my room to go eat some breakfast, I was greeted with a warm smile from my mom and a plate full of freshly made waffles.

"Nice to see you up Aichi"

My mom smiled as she placed my plate down in front of me as I took a seat at the table beside Emi who was already eating her share of breakfast.

"Morning, and thanks for the waffles"

I began to eat my waffles, thankful that they were warm so they could warm me up from the chilly morning air.

When I had finished eating I went to go put my shoes on, I really didn't want to be late in meeting up with Naoki and Mizuha. However I was stopped when I felt my mom's gentle hand on my shoulder, I looked at her confused until she showed me a spray bottle of disinfectant. I grimaced at the sight of the can, it had been used on me a lot when I used to 'fall' a lot and I never liked how it stung.

"Aichi I don't want your arms getting infected and you getting blood poisoning"

I frowned and moved a little away from my mom and shook my head, I didn't remember ever enjoying the feeling of disinfectant.

"I don't want to... It hurts.."

I looked down at the ground, hoping that she would take pity on me. I knew it wasn't something I would usually do but I _really_ didn't want to allow her to disinfect my cuts.

_That stuff is evil_...

"Aichi, you can't go to school if you won't let me make sure it won't get infected"

I looked over into my mom's cyan eyes and sighed, I could tell that she wasn't giving in anytime soon. I gingerly moved up my sleeves and unwrapped my bandages to reveal yesterday's results for my mom to examine, I tried to read her expression but I couldn't.

"Owwww! it hurts!"

I cried out as she began to spray my arms with the evil bottle of disinfectant before bandaging my arms back up with new bandages, I could tell that small tears of pain were in the corners of my eyes afterward.

"Okay I'm going to school now..."

I half whimpered because my arms were still in pain, I opened the front door and almost walked into Naoki and Mizuha. I looked at my two friends surprised.

"That's he is! I told ya Aichi wouldn't back out on our promise"

Naoki growled half heartedly with a slight smile towards the beige haired boy beside him, who in return rolled his hazel eyes and grabbed my left hand and pulled me out the door.

"Naoki, Mizuha, what are you guys doing here?"

I really hadn't expected to open my front door only to see my two friends standing on the other side, I was glad to see them and that they hadn't went on without me.

"Well we were worried that you might not come to school and would instead sleep in"

Mizuha explained as we walked to school together, the air was chilly yet it now felt quite pleasant and the skies were lightly clouded.

Naoki glared towards the beige haired teen.

"I wasn't worried! I _knew_ Aichi wouldn't break his promise to go to school today!"

I laughed lightly as Naoki argued, Mizuha suddenly looked at me with genuine surprise. I tilted my head and looked at him confused.

"What's wrong?"

I asked, not knowing why Mizuha was suddenly looking at me with such deep surprise.

"You laughed..."

Mizuha whispered in awe,as he looked at me like he had seen a flying cat fly past us.

"So?"

"Aichi I've never heard you laugh before... I'm so glad you can laugh..."

Naoki smiled as he hopped forward after placing an arm each over me and Mizuha's shoulders.

"Idiot Mizuha, Aichi's human just like the rest of us"

Mizuha looked at Naoki with a smirk, I couldn't help but think how strange my friends were.

"I _knew_ that, it's just I didn't think Aichi could smile so easily... Though I'm glad"

I smiled at my beige haired friend, he was truly nothing like I thought he was like all these years, he was a really kind person.


	22. Chapter 21: Classmates

**Chapter 21: Classmates**

Me, Naoki and Mizuha had spent the rest of the time it took to walk to school chatting and getting to know each other better, it was fun. Mizuha turned out to be a very silly person and it surprised me that he was the one who had cause me so much pain before. Naoki on the other hand seemed to be very patio ate about things he liked, which kind of suited him.

When the school was in sight I stopped walking for a second, however Mizuha and Naoki smiled at me and slightly dragged me into the school halls. What greeted me shocked me, I felt so many paired of eyes on me as my two friends silently led me towards our classroom.

I peeked into the classroom, I was slightly embarrassed about how I left last time. Milla looked up from her seat and I was taken aback when she smiled at me.

"Hi Sendou! How are you?"

Her tone of voice didn't seem to be hiding any interior motives, I looked at Mizuha confused and he just smiled at me. In reality, I was a little creeped out with all the sudden attention towards me.

"Ah I'm okay.. How about you?.."

I replied as I entered the class and sat at my desk, Milla's eyes lit up.

"I'm great! And I hope you get better soon. Mizuha said you left because you had a terrible ear ache.. They hurt a lot, even I can't stop myself from tearing up hehe"

_Ear ache? Mizuha made that excuse for why I left class yesterday? _

I looked over towards Mizuha thankfully, he saved me a lot of trouble from trying to explain why I had left class the way I did.

The bell suddenly rand and the rest of the class entered the room, I got many kind smiles and faint nods from my classmates, it confused me. I hadn't been ignored by one person yet today.

_Did Mizuha or Naoki do something? if so what did they do? _

"All right class today were doing some group problem solving in class, everyone make a group"

Mr. Kiri announced after he had taken attendance, his glasses glinted slightly as a small smile crept across his face. I looked towards Mizuha and Naoki and went to go towards them, however I was stopped by some of my other classmates.

"Sendou you're gonna be in our group!"

Chiaki told me, he had black hair and eyes. He was standing beside Lynda and Suzuka, Lynda had red hair and green eyes while Suzuka had blond hair and grey eyes.

I looked at them in confusion, usually they were part of the group that used to ignore me, I glanced at Mizuha and he was smirking towards me.

_So you did do something, I hope they aren't being nice to me because of pity.._

_"_Okay_..."_

I replied with a smile, which was greeted with a few shocked faces that quickly morphed into smiled.

"Heh you have a great smile Sendou"

Lynda laughed slightly, her comment made me feel happy, I wasn't used to complements from classmates so it had more impact than it would on a normal student.

"Thanks"

The four of us worked together on the math problem, it was fun talking, comparing strategies, and ideas. I had never done so before so it felt a little refreshing. We were the first group to finish our problem.

Suzuka raised her hand excitedly as she called out that we had the answer, Mr. Kiri walked over to observe our formulas and nodded with a smile, he looked more happy than he should have been.

"You're answer is correct, feel free to talk amongst yourselves as we wait for the other groups to finish"

Mr. Kiri then left out table to go observe the others, Chiaki smiled at me. His charcoal eyes were beaming.

"Sendou you're way more fun than I thought you'd be! Mizuha told us to give you a chance.. I'm so glad we accepted because I never knew that you could smile so well and talk wel"

Suzuka pushed Chiaki out of the way and got up in my face with a grin.

"Chiaki's right, I can't believe we ignored such a nice person for so long! I never knew you could be so talkative!"

I moved slightly away, blushing faintly at the blond haired girl's closeness and compliment.

_Mizuha, I've really got to repay you... Naoki too, because of you everything seems like it's settling down._

_"_Thanks_.._ That means a lot_.."_

I felt so happy, today many people were accepting me for who I was, I had never expected something like this to ever happen to me.

"Sendou... You've felt so much pain.."

I looked around confused, it wasn't anybody that I knew who had spoken yet the voice sounded familiar.

"Sendou what's wrong? Why're ya spacing out?"

Suzuka laughed, I looked at her confused, wondering what she was talking about.

"Didn't you hear that?"

Lynda cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"Hear what Sendou?"

"That voice"

Chiaki laughed and grabbed me only to mess up my hair.

"Silly Sendou playing tricks on us hehe"

_What? They seriously didn't hear that?_

Suddenly everything around me faded into nothingness, I looked around. It was weird, it felt like I had been here before_._


	23. Chapter 22: This world and the other

**Chapter 22: This world and the other world**

I looked around me confused, everything was plain white. The only colour I could see was the colour in myself. I was a little afraid, this place seemed so familiar yet it brought me a stabbing pain in my head whenever I tried to remember.

"Sendou Aichi... It seems you've returned.."

A eerie voice whispered into my ears, it was silky yet cold, it brought a shiver down my spine at the feeling of it. I looked around, trying to locate the source of the unknown voice.

"Heh even without your memories of your true self you're still the same Sendou Aichi... Maybe that's because your spirit is strong..."

The voice sounded as if it was mocking me slightly, I glared at the ground. I couldn't do a thing, I didn't even know if I was upside down or not.

"Who are you?..."

I wanted to know who this voice belonged to, it was probably what had taken me away from my classroom and brought me to wherever this place is. Wherever this was, I didn't like it at all, it made me feel uneasy.

"Hmmm I guess I could tell you... I am who you know as Takuto, I have no need to say my last name"

The pure white scenery around me suddenly changed, I was now floating in a starry space, I looked up and saw a mirror. On the other side of the mirror I saw someone, they looked like me but, not quite the same. The aura seemed a little stronger than me.

"Who are you?..."

I whisper to the mirror, it seemed as if it was me, yet at the same time a completely different person. The image smiled kindly at me as it stuck its hand through the mirror and grabbed my arm. I felt a strange energy enter me as I was pulled up through the mirror.

"I am you, and you are me... It's time to go home soon"

The 'me' pulled me into him and a searing pain entered my mind. I closed my eyes and crouched down to hold my head in pain, memories were rushing into my mind, everything about vangaurd, card capital, team Q4, psyquallia, void and link joker. I gasped at the memories and opened my eyes.

_I was pulled into the mirror and then I was young... My life started over from that time?...how?_

_"_Takuto... Why did you do all this? I thought you were... Gone"

I whispered softly, I was still shocked from everything that I had experienced from the split version of my life. I remembered my arms, I rolled my sleeves up and saw that instead of the angry red scars, there was only the faintest of white marks. They were only visible if you knew what you were looking for.

"I wanted to teach you that you've always been strong, even without vangaurd you would have turned out happy in the end... It's a little gift, it may have been painful, I'm sorry.."

I shook my head and smiled happily, I was thankful for the experience.

"Thank you Takuto, it was a good learning period for me. Though what will happen now?..."

"You will go back to where you belong, the life with vangaurd..."

_The life with vangaurd... I'll get to see all of my friends, including Naoki but... What about Mizuha.._

"Aichi do not worry, Mizuha exists in that world too of course. It's possible to meet and befriend him once again"

My mood brightened at Takuto's words, I could see _all_ of my friends, and play vangaurd with them once again.

"Ah wait Takuto... One last question... What's going to happen to you now?.."

If my memory was correct, Takuto had been sealed away along with link joker. I had thought I would never see him again.

"... My energy is almost used up... I will fade away like I was supposed to, but before that, I'm sending you home Aichi.."

_It's not fair.. You've done so much_..

"Sayonara Sendou Aichi.."

I closed my eyes as I felt everything around me bend and dissipate, when I opened my eyes I saw that I was standing in card capital.

"Hey Aichi Onii-San, why are you staring off into space?"

I looked over to Kamui, and smiled. I felt a little disorientated but I didn't think that was a problem.

"Ah sorry, I was just having a little daydream"

I laughed, I felt like I should keep what happened to myself. I knew that it would just probably confuse everyone or make them upset.

"Geez Onii-San, I was asking if you want to have a cardfight battle"

I smiled at Kamui's request, it was always fun to battle him.

"Sure I'll battle you... Kamui"

A sudden flash of beige outside of card capitals doors caught my attention, the hazel eyes on the boy were strikingly familiar.

_Mizuha?!_

"Ah actually I just remembered something, sorry I've got to go!"

"Ah okay..."

Kamui seemed slightly confused, I was glad that he didn't press any further. I wanted to meet this worlds Mizuha, it was strange how one encounter with Kai all those years ago twisted up the future so much, thankfully people's personalities were the same.

I smiled apologetically towards my red eyed friend before running out the doors to reacquaint with Mizuha.

_Hopefully we can become friends again_.

**this sadly concludes the story~ I really hope you've enjoyed reading this~ tell me what ya think of it ^_^**


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